MY FRIEND

MY FRIEND 

Everyone of us has friends and ofcourse we do love them, 

but 

have we ever ask ourselves why ???? . BECAUSE

They understand me just by looking in to my eyes

I con expose my deepest secrets to them

They know me better than i know myself

Wiht them i am not afraid from my life

I dont need to explain anythng ,they just know what i mean

They dry my tears

They are not afriad to put themselve on the line for me

They make me laugh when i was sad

They do anything for me ,and get me out of trouble

By my pen

jokes

hi

Welcome everybody

These are some jokes in English

goog luck with them

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Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past

Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history

Teacher: Why 

Student: There is no future in it

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Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much 

would your father still have

Ted: $10

Teacher: You don't know maths

Ted: You don't know my father

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Mother: David, come here

David: Yes, mom

Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse 

David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow 

Mother: I know that. But I am going to 

Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now 

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Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test 

Son: On Monday, teacher 

said 3+5=8

Father: So

Son: On Tuesday, she 

said 4+4=8 and on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer

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A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father 

Daughter: It's mummy

Father: How do you know

Daughter: She didn't say anything

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Girl: Do you love me

Boy: Yes Dear

Girl: Would you die for me 

Boy: No, mine is undying love

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Man: How old is your father

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be 

Boy: He became a father only when I was born

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Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg 

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card

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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything 

Son: That's why I say she's no good 

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Teacher: "Where were you born

Student: "

Singapore, Sir

Teacher: "Which part

Student: "All of me, Sir

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A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between unlawful' and 'illegal

Only one hand shot up 

"Ok, answer, Joan" 

said the teacher

"'Unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle

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A boy came home from school with his exam results

What did u get?" asked his father

"My marks are under water

said the boy

"What do u mean 'under water'

"They are all below 'C' (sea) level"

_______________

Drugs

Drugs

Drugs. What do we know about drugs? What do we imagine when we say this word? White powder or a young person, wiping out any possibility for his future to grow, killing himself slowly. Drugs came in our life and destroyed any relations between parents and children. I say "any" because this is the word, defining exactly what happens when a child starts taking drugs. Ignorance. Ignorance from the rest of the world, living in a world with no real friends, no sun, no flowers, no stars, no tears or laughter^ no love. The only friend of the drug addict is the syringe. And nevertheless, there are people who manage to emerge from all this, to overcome their dependence from drugs and let their life change, continue, develop or whatever word you're comfortable with. Why? Why there are so many drug addicts? Why does a child become a drug fiend? There are people, who are more probable to start taking drugs, than others. People, who are more responsible, stronger and are always "in charge" of their own problems, these people "never" take drugs, as they say themselves. These people are able to obey someone, to entice someone, to listen or act for someone, but to get what they want, to get the joy they want. But there are weak people, who have "closed" and ignored themselves from the rest of the reality, people who live in their own world. They are usually not willing to solve their problems by their own, so they find a "friend" who "helps" them. And all this, because you don't need neither to obey, nor to allure the squirt. No, you just take it, and you get they joy you have been longing for so fervently, ignoring everything else around you. You get a false joy, and become unable to feel anything, as you try to get another dose before you have to spend too much of your precious time in reality...

Funny SMS

Funny SMS
enjoy it


SomeOne..
MiSSES U..
NeeDS U..
Worries About U
Lonely Without U
Guess Who?
THE MONKEY IN
… THE ZOO .. 




Do u remember the day we travelled in a car?
I put my dog out of the window,
u put ur face out,
then people started shouting
‘TWINS TWINS

^
^
^
hhhhhhhhhhhh
so funny


TEACHER:
what is the different between
problem and challenge????
STUDENT:3boys+1girl=problem
1boy+3girls=challenge..


Santa: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I made.
Banta: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance?



U r a nice person…
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning…
1st. pray to God so that u can live….
2nd.take a bath so that others can live…. 

When u feel sad….
To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
“damn I am really so cute”
u will overcome your sadness.
But don’t make this a habit…..
Coz liars go to hell !!!!




Today is an international day
for the mentally disabled .
Please send an encouraging
sms to a mentally disabled friend
I have done !!!



Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,
And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far




What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.
Choice is urs……..



Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad,
just a radio with a sports car around it.





Everything is incomplete without ME
..mory
Co..dy
Ti..
Ga..
So..thing
..aning
Even this ..ssage!
So dont forget ME

^
^




Teacher To Student:
Can You Define Who Is LECTURER?
Student : A LECTURER Is A Person Who Has A Very Bad
Habit Of Speaking When Someone Is SLeeping.



Father to son:
whenever i beat you,
you dont get annoyed,
how you control your anger?
son: i start cleaning the toilet
seat with your toothbrush


Girl: When we get married,
I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy: It’s very kind of you,
darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that is because we aren’t married yet



TEACHER: Arshad, name one important thing
we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
Arshad: Me!

I wrote your name on sand,
it got washed.
I wrote your name in air,
it was blown away.
I wrote your name on my heart &
i got Heart Attack.


Our friendship means a lot to me.
U cry i cry.
U laugh i laugh.
U jump out of the window
I look down & then
.
.
.
I laugh again


The 1st Advice Of
Father To His Son
When Son Got His
Driving License Made,
Is
“Remember 1 Thing Son
If U’re Going To Hit
Anything, Make Sure
Its Cheap”




A recently fired
stock trader said …
“This is worse than divorce…
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife



Man 1:
“I m Always Delighted
When People Stick Their
Noses In My
Business.”
Man 2:
“Why, What Do You Do?”
Man 1:
“i’ve A Company, Make
Tissue Papers

what a lovely creature

Captain Crook ,a British navigator ,was the first European to reach Australia's east coast .while his ship lying off Australia ,his sailors brought a strange animal on board .Cook wanted to know the name of this unusual creature ,so he sent his men ashore to ask the native inhabitants .When the natives were asked in impromptu language to name the animal ,they said ,"kangaroo" .The sailors of course ,believed "kangaroo" was the animals name . years later ,the truth was discovered "kangaroo" means "what did 
you say " but today the animal is still called a kangaroo in English




نشر الرسالة

Advice from a Teacher to learn english fast

You are learning english as a foreign language.Yes?But you are unable to speak in english after studying for many years.Now,you wonder how to learn english fast and easy?Relax! i am going to tell you a few genuine rules that my teacher told me when i myself was studying english.If you are ready to adapt these rules you will find a change after a few days cann't say dramatic as learning a language is a gradual process and not over the night

All you need to do is to change your studying method that's useless.And stick to the natural way of learning any language.Before saying more i direct you to the basic rules of learning english.
read more

Good Study Habits

It will help you in your college career to develop good study habits. The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for your actions. You are the only one who can decide your priorities and how to use your time and resources



Don’t allow yourself to become distracted by friends and fellow students. Keep in mind the bigger picture. Know what you have to do and when it needs to be done. Keep your goals in mind. Don’t let other people influence you into not doing your work



Figure out your most productive times of the day. If you study best in the morning, plan to study your hardest subjects first. If you have trouble concentrating at a certain time, don’t get out your hardest subjects or your most complex project



If you do not understand the course material, try some innovative ways to learn it. Don’t just keep rereading the material in hopes that you will eventually understand it. Ask your instructor for help. If your school has study sessions and peer tutors, take advantage of these offerings. Set up study groups within your class



When you put your best effort in your work, then you have succeeded. If you are satisfied with what you have done and know that you have done your best, then your grade is the icing on the cake. Always give your best in the classroom and in study sessions. By doing so, you will know that you have tried